Take me as I am
by TigerSnow
Summary: “Casey, I have a girlfriend” Oh…right Kendra… “I know…I…” I was about to apologize when...Dasey! R&R, Rating might change


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Life With Derek, if I did; Casey and Derek would be together.

**Summary:** Casey decides she wants to be her own person. Not knowing about the consequences.

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"Hate is a very strong, hurtful, word Casey. You should think twice about using it." My mother once told me. It was the week after I had told I hated her for ruining my life by marring to George and having us move.

I knew it really hurt her feelings but I was 14 she shouldn't have taken me so seriously. At least, that's what I thought in my head. What I actually said was that I felt horrible about the whole thing, when I didn't. It felt pretty damn good, actually. Knowing, I had hurt her as much as she hurt me.

Call me mean; call me vengeful, I don't care. This good-girl act I do is only so people will leave me the hell alone. I don't even care about my grades anymore. I mean I don't want to fail but I'd be okay with B's and C's but my mom gets so butt hurt if I don't make those good marks.

With Lizzy she's different, she doesn't expect as much from her. She's letting her be a normal kid and I'm happy for her because pretending to be perfect is driving me crazy. All the things I have to remember all the causes I supposedly stand for. It's a full time job I should get paid for this.

I wouldn't have to be like this if I lived with my dad. He doesn't care about all that stuff. My dad cares about me not my image and that's why I love him so much.

"Casey, dinner!" I hear Nora yell at me from downstairs. I'm not really hungry but Derek's gonna be there and he makes life…fun!

I walk downstairs and see everyone's already there. We're having pizza because both of the 'rents were too lazy to cook. I sit down and take my place at the dinner table.

"So Casey, honey how was your day"

I've been avoiding family dinner's lately. Mostly, because I've been reaching my limit. She expects the world of me by everyone else she lets slack off. Its way to much pressure to impress her. Let's just say I know why my parents divorced.

I think the only reason she asks is because I haven't been doing every single thing she asks me.

"Good"

"Nobody cares" Derek says with chewed bread in his mouth. How I could have possibly fallen in love with him is beyond me, but, I did. His eyes, body, and all around Derek-ness, drive me nuts.

"Derek, that's very rude, apologize to Casey." I hear my mother say, George just nods. Why my life is boring, hell I wouldn't want to hear about my day. Maybe I should say something.

"Yea, but so is going through my room and reading my diary" I say looking at my mom. That's right Nora I know it was you. When Derek does it he knows how to make it looked untouched…unless he's in a rush to get out.

My mom freezes. I wonder what she gonna say. Whatever, the diary she found is fake filled with things people would expect people to read. My real diary is on Xanga.

"Casey…I um"

"Ha! Don't worry about it Nora I read Casey's diary when I can't sleep. It knocks me right out."

"Derek!" I hear George say but I'm focused on my mom.

"Casey I know it was wrong but you've been so distant lately and you don't talk to me so when I saw it I couldn't help it"

"Whatever happened to 'I would never read my daughters' diary like my mother did to us' hm" I wasn't yelling or anything. I was calm and mom was sweating.

"I know Casey and I'm sorry but when you're a mother, you'll understand."

"Why, so I can end up 40 with a failed marriage, forcing my eldest daughter to fulfill all of my failed childhood ambitions against her own happiness. No…I'll think I'll pass"

The room was quiet. Everyone looked at me in shocked horror. I get up, grab my plate of food, an extra pizza, and unopened bottle of coke and begin to walk off. When I get to the couch I turn to her and say.

"Bet you didn't read that in the diary" and walk away to my room where I began to eat my victory dinner.

I few minutes later I there I was a knock at my door. I opened to see Derek walking in shocked.

"What the hell was that about?"

"That was me letting go of some unresolved issues."

"I'm all for you letting go of your issues but don't you think that was a little harsh."

"Actually, I didn't think it was harsh enough"

"What's gotten into you?"

"I'm just tired of living up to her expectations. I just…I want to be normal and make my own decisions. I want to do stuff because really want to do it"

He sat on my bed and thought about it then slowly nodded. He understood what I meant and that meant the world to me. I just hope he was okay with what I wanted to do next.

"Just be careful with the consequences. The last thing you want is to have all of this bite you in the ass" I smiled and as he got up. It's now or never, Casey.

With that in mind I kissed him. He responded instantly by putting his arms around my waist. I follow placing my hands around his neck.

Then he pushed me back onto the bed still kissing me. In mid make out session he broke the kiss.

"Casey, I have a girlfriend" Oh…right Kendra…

"I know…I…" I was about to apologize when he picked up the phone and called her. Was he going to tell her what happened, now?

"Kendra, its Derek" He tells her but his arms are still around me. We're still on the bed.

"Yea I'm breaking up with you. It's not working out" What? Is he serious?

"Yea, laters" he says as he hangs up the phone then he kisses me. This time I kiss him harder and things get a little more intense. I think I just died and gone to heaven.

"Are you sure about his Casey?" he asks me getting up to go to the door I smile and nodd. He locks my door and turns the light off. I can't believe this is happening. Yes! I'm sure! I know its wrong but it feels so right.

"Yea I'm sure" I tell him when he comes back.

I'm not gonna tell you want happened next but I will tell you that it didn't end with a kiss.

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Please review and tell me what you think! Should I continue? End it there? 


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